Welcome to Beijing Corn. The corn grow in the magical land of Beijing. The soil so pure you can taste the failure. All the cows here play piano, so we thought having some chickens can give us better atmosphere but they just ate all the corn.
Meet our local farmer: “Every morning, we bring the water up for the mountain… 3am every morning I come round the mountain to join the rabbits to sing Despacito, a ancient ritual that really distills the disappointment into the corn. Our corn so dumb, it grows out of trees. Yin fact, I didn’t even plant corn – I planted rice.”
Look at some of our top rated reviews:
“I don’t know what this is but this guy in a grey suit won’t leave me alone.” – Uncle Roger
“I’d rather be audited” – Fin
Fantastic stomach-cleansing quality: “I smelled it and threw up.” – Ghost Cat.
Stressed out at work; need to relax? Beijing Corn has calming quality.
Do your son get B in maths? Give him Beijing Corn. Disappointment guaranteed.
We don’t have any more Beijing Corn, so you get the giant A4 poster.